by Henry on Nov. 21, 2005 @ 9:00 AM

Saturday I proclaimed Get Drunk All Day Day. After Mark told me this was a stupid idea (his average blog entry isn't the only thing that's short--zing!) I called up my friend Stuart Collier. I know Stu from Southhampton and even though he's not usually my first choice for a night (or morning) out on the town, I called on him yesterday because I was 100% certain he wouldn't turn me down. When people ask this bloke what he does for a living he usually says something like, "I'm kind of a professional Stuart," and then when they inquire into how he's able to do this he tells them he's on a "five-year traveling fellowship from the Paul and Andrea Collier Foundation." Needless to say, he's free most Saturdays.

Stuart and I started our day of fun at the Holiday Inn on the border of SoHo and TriBeCa, a location I decided upon simply because they had the latest running complimentary breakfast that I knew of. I loaded up on some delicious Eggs Benedict, Stu inexpicably had Grape Nuts and we BYOBed a sixer of Miller High Life, which we drank surreptitiously.

After writing a random room number down on the bill and signing "That Guy," we hurried across the street to a movie house where the critically-acclaimed "Get Rich or Die Trying" was playing. After a moment of dissent in which my companion longingly eyed the "Pride and Prejudice" poster, I rallied the troop and we paid for our tickets. Much to my dismay, 50 Cent's latest work could not have been worse. From the start, I was counting on the fact that it would be either a gritty drug-war drama that would give me a better sense of "the struggle" or that it would be so horrible that I could laugh at it as I downed Jim Beam and popcorn. It was neither, except for a prison shower scene that was both.

We of course stayed for "Pride and Prejudice," but after we got out of that and grabbed some dinner and a few more beers, it was pretty late. So, we shot uptown to a bar near the campus of Columbia University, where I know someone in the Law School. As I knew, however, this was much more of an undergrad hangout, which was exactly why we went. From the moment I stepped into the bar and yelled "SPRING BREEEAAAAAKKK!!!!" at the top of my lungs, I knew I had chosen right. The place was ripe with young ladies and we immediately met a couple of them, who took us to their Football Frat. Stuart immediately started behaving like a lunatic, as he took up post in a shopping cart of empty beer cans and earnestly told passers-by "Happy College!" Me, I just sat back in a sawed-in-half couch and took it all in.

It was a great day that I won't soon forget.